Module 3 Lesson 3. Thinking differently 3. Thinking differently makes you feel better You cannot change the things that happen, but you can change your response. In other words, you cannot change events but you can change your thoughts. Example 1: Wei Wei takes care of his wife Xu, who is living with dementia. He writes the following: Name: Wei What was the event that made you feel upset or miserable? Yesterday my wife Xu and I visited some friends. We had tea together. Xu dropped her cup on the floor. When they started to clean the floor, Xu did not help, but she stood in the way. She did not apologise for her behaviour, but laughed. What were your unhelpful thoughts? Our friends are upset with my wife and won’t invite us to their house again. What would be more helpful to think? My wife has dementia and is unable to think and act in the same way that she used to. Our friends won’t blame my wife as I have explained to them that she has dementia and that her thinking has declined. How could the helpful thoughts make you feel? Instead of feeling worried and ashamed, I would have felt happy about the day we spent with our friends.